Welcome to Europe’s Largest Open-Air Zoo: The UK Now Charges an Entry Fee for Visitors!

For years, it was an open secret: the UK is essentially a massive zoo—a free-range enclosure full of peculiar creatures driving on the wrong side of the road, consuming questionably edible food, and passionately discussing the weather as if it were a competitive sport. But now, it's official! Starting in April 2025, visitors from the EU (yes, including the Swiss) will have to pay an entry fee to witness this unique habitat.

ETA – Exclusively Taxing Adventurers

No, this isn't a preservation fee for Britain’s last surviving tea enthusiasts, nor is it a contribution to the royal corgi retirement fund. The UK government calls it the Electronic Travel Authorization (ETA), and for the modest sum of £16, you too can gain entry into this strange and wonderful kingdom.

Before you get too excited, remember: this isn’t a one-time donation. Your ETA is valid for two years, meaning you can re-enter multiple times to check if things have gotten any weirder. And let’s be honest: they probably will.

“A nation that forgets its past has no future.” – Winston Churchill(A perfect quote for the Brexit era, but let’s not stir that pot too much...)

Zoo Admission Prices: A Fair Comparison

Naturally, the question arises: Is this entry fee justified? Let's compare:

• Entry to the London Zoo: ~£35

• Entry to Sea Life London Aquarium: ~£27

• Single entry into the UK: £16

Considering that in London, you’ll witness not only primates but also penguins in suits (a.k.a. investment bankers in The City) and wild pigeons staging protests in Trafalgar Square, this seems like a bargain!

Visitor Guidelines for the "Great Britain" Zoo

Before you purchase your ticket, here are a few essential survival tips:

1. Feeding the locals is allowed but not advised. Especially after a few pints, they might aggressively lunge for your beer.

2. Do not disturb the Royal Enclosure! Any attempt to get too close may trigger a royal scandal, complete with front-page tabloid coverage.

3. Beware of the aggressive species: Brexiters. These creatures defend their territory with bizarre arguments and may attack if provoked. Best response? Slowly retreat while murmuring ‘sovereignty.’

4. Traffic in the UK is a survival challenge. If you manage to cross the street without being hit by a double-decker bus, congratulations! You’re ready for level two: navigating the London Underground.

“This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.” – William Shakespeare(A beautiful sentiment, though Shakespeare might have reconsidered had he known about the ETA fee.)

Final Recommendation

Is the entry fee worth it? Absolutely! Where else can you enjoy a live reality show featuring eccentric islanders, a royal spectacle, and a currency that performs unpredictable acrobatics in global exchange rates?

So, dear EU citizens, Swiss travelers, and global adventurers: Get your ticket to Europe’s most peculiar safari. The UK is ready for you—with open arms and a contactless card reader for the ETA fee.

“Keep calm and carry on.” – British WWII Propaganda(Also applicable when applying for your ETA or dealing with a delayed train at Paddington Station.)

Enjoy your visit!